


Worst Man

by beautifulcheat (Katalyst)



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 21:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30111978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katalyst/pseuds/beautifulcheat
Summary: Isobel Evans and Rosa Ortecho's wedding is going to be an affair to remember. That is, if Alex Manes doesn't ruin it first.This wasn't his idea. Honestly, he'd rather spend the wedding getting drunk, bribing the DJ to play songs that would drive the brides crazy, and keeping well away from his first, unrequited love. But when one of your best friends asks you to be their worst man, you take that job seriously.Even if that means ending up a hell of a lot closer to Michael Guerin than he bargained for.
Relationships: Isabel Evans/Rosa Ortecho, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 23
Kudos: 42





	Worst Man

**Author's Note:**

> This originally was a collab with ladynox, and although we've decided to focus our co-writing on our other projects, including Milestones and The truth is right here, she deserves partial author credit on this chapter! <3

  
It had been years since Alex had been back to Roswell. Almost a decade, since he’d left that shitty town in his rearview mirror and enlisted. The only thing he ever really regretted was that all his friends stayed.

He’d come back to it with a combination of trepidation and nostalgia, only because Rosa had called him in the middle of the night, _demanded_ he use some of his leave and spend the next month in Roswell, because she was getting married.

Considering that was pretty much the first time she’d called in any of the dozens of favors they owed each other, he couldn’t say no.

He stepped into Bean Me Up, spotting her almost immediately. It wasn’t like he had forgotten what she looked like, or she had changed all that much in the last decade, but seeing her was still a bit of a shock to the system. She’d grown up in ways that pictures and skype calls couldn’t really capture.

As soon as she saw him, she launched out of her chair, going to throw her arms around him in a big hug. “Al! I was about to send out a search party.” 

“Sorry. Surprisingly easy to forget a town when you’ve been gone a decade.” 

“Too long.” She said, punching his arm and going to grab coffee with him.

“So.” He said, as they settled down at a table. “Not that I don’t appreciate the excuse to spend a bit of time with you, but why am I here a _full month_ before your wedding?

Rosa grinned, slow and mischievous. He missed that smile. “Al, I have a very important question for you. I have a really important spot for you on my bridal party.

“More important than the actual job I already have?” Alex asked, eyebrow arched.

“Way more,” Rosa said, solemnly. “Would you do me the honor?”

“You’re asking me this a month out?” He laughed under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief. “And you what, want me to be your best man? Rosa, I _know_ you have closer friends, not to mention family...” 

“Don’t undersell yourself, chico. And oh no. I want you to be my _worst_ man.” 

“Come again?” He blinked at her.

“I want you to be my worst man.” Rosa grinned, sharp. “It’s this thing I heard of a while back that I always wanted. Your job is to stop the wedding, at all costs.” 

Alex raised an eyebrow at her, slowly. “I’m sorry.” Pausing. “...but what the _fuck_? Why?” 

Rosa shrugged. “Because if you can break up my marriage, Alex Manes, it was definitely not meant to be.” 

“You realize I’m an airman, right?” He asked. “Like… what if I blew up your venue?”

She looked thoughtful. And unreasonably, unhealthily intrigued. “Probably should avoid getting yourself arrested. Or I dunno, don’t. I’d like to see how Izzy responds to losing all her carefully chosen decorations.” She paused. “Just don’t touch her dress, or mine. I put a lot of work into those.” 

“Is this some kind of elaborate suicide attempt?” Alex asked. He’s met Isobel. That is not a woman to be fucked with. It’s what he respected about her, he could almost consider her a kindred spirit in that. “Do you want to be murdered at the altar?”

Rosa grinned, unconcerned over Isobel Evan’s wrath. Truly a woman with nerves of steel. “Anyway, Isobel’s brother is going to be your main competition.”

“What, is he going to be _her_ worst man?” God if that was the case these psychos really did deserve each other.

“No he’s her best man. His job will be to try to stop you at all costs.” 

“.....Right.” He said, slowly. “And does he know that’s his job? Like is this a fair fight?”

“Not even remotely,” Rosa said, grinning. “But I have a feeling he can hold his own.

Alex let out a sigh that sounded long-suffering, even to himself. “Could I not be your maid of honor?” 

“Nah, that’s Liz.”

“Best man on your side?”

“Kyle.” Rosa waved her hand. At Alex’s wrinkled nose of disgust, she looked slightly apologetic. “Sorry, babe, he’s my half brother. I promise you, he’s a lot better now.”

Alex groaned and rolled his eyes at the thought of being in a bridal party with his high school bully. Sure, maybe times had changed, but that didn’t mean he relished the thought. “Yeah, yeah. That’s what they all say.” 

“Anyway, you gotta do it. You owe me and it’s either Worst Man or the guestbook keeper.” 

“That’s not a real job, Rosa.” He protested. 

“Oh, you don’t know Isobel Evans nearly well enough. She’s got a person doing everything.”

“Ugh, fine.” He groaned. “Do you have a mission briefing?” he asked, dryly. Trying to remember much of anything about Max. They’d been friendly, but Max had been so damn quiet, with his nose in a book.

“How about a couple pictures and I talk you through it, weirdo?” 

Alex sputtered a little. “Weirdo? _I’m_ the weirdo in this?”

She just smiled as she unlocked her phone and pulled up a picture. “So, I don’t know if you remember Michael Guerin… you guys were in the same grade.” 

His heart dropped into his stomach as she showed him a picture of a face that was way too familiar. Izzy had her arm around a man with wild curls, a bright smile, and honey-gold eyes that still occasionally haunted his dreams. Fuck, of course. Of course it had to be that guy. And of course he had to go from stupid pretty to ruggedly handsome. “I thought you said her _brother_ was her best man?” 

“Yeah. Michael.” She said, casually, as if that wasn’t some kind of fucking bombshell. 

“What about Max Evans?” He was really proud it didn’t come out strangled. Since when was Michael Guerin related to Isobel?

“Maid of honor. Focus, man.” She snapped her fingers. He frowned at her. That didn’t answer any of his questions after all and she knew it. “So Michael’s this bigshot ag engineer now and he’s ridiculously smart, so don’t underestimate him.”

Alex snorted. “He’s a nerd, not an enemy combatant, Rosa, I’ve dealt with worse.” 

“Sure, just keep telling yourself that.” She said, dryly. “We’re having a pre-rehearsal planning brunch Friday. The whole wedding party will be there. Mandatory.” 

“Seriously? Your wedding is a month out.” Alex protested. Though to be honest, he was a little relieved that he wasn’t just here so early for Rosa’s hare brained scheme. 

“Tell that to Isobel,” Rosa said dryly. 

* * *

When Michael was younger, he couldn’t wait to get out of Roswell. Felt like he had little or no connection to this patch of dry dust in the middle of nowhere. But now, weirdly, it had started to feel like coming home. Even more than his place in California. And considering that half his job was remote or international, now, he was really considering moving closer. Maybe even coming back.

He’d missed this, sitting in Izzy’s kitchen, mostly tuning her out as she rambled on about this or that. Tonight, it was her wedding plans, and he was way more interested in discovering whether or not Izzy’s fancy craft beer would cure his jetlag. Brazil was _just_ far enough away to really start feeling the effects.

He idly peeled the label on his bottle, until something that Izzy said brought him back into the conversation, like a shock of cold water to the face. “...so Rosa’s wedding party is going to be Liz, Kyle, and Alex Manes -- you remember Alex?” 

Alex? Alex? Did he remember Alex? Only the single thing he regretted about his time at New Roswell High. Only the source of a million what if fantasies that still haunt him till this day. Does he remember Alex _fucking_ Manes?

“Yeah, emo kid right?” Michael said, as nonchalantly as he could. As if he’s not thinking of sitting inside Alex’s shed, holding a loaned guitar. As if he’s not thinking of Alex leaning in, with eyes soft and lips even softer. An attempt at a kiss that he had not been expecting or ready for. It was not entirely unwelcome, but he’d drawn back anyway. And the moment had been lost after that… for what felt like forever.

Isobel raised an eyebrow, already looking slightly suspicious and he put on his best bored expression. “He’s in the wedding party?” Michael’s brain was going a mile a minute. All these _maybes_ cropping up. The possibilities. Like string theory. Like a million universes coalescing in his brain. Like a universe where Michael screwed up his courage and and… he had to cut himself off, mentally. 

“Unofficially. Rosa’s official wedding party isn’t allowed to be bigger than mine.” Izzy said, with the tone of someone who’s had that argument more than once.

“Well then, get ready for Gerard Way to walk the bride down the aisle,” Michael grinned. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Michael.” Isobel rolled her eyes. “I'm pretty sure Arturo would fight anyone who tried to take the honor away from him. And I happen to think it's patriarchal and regressive, so it won't be me.”

Michael raised his hands up in surrender. “I mean you do you, but plenty of dudes get walked down the aisle too so you know, it doesn’t have to be like being sold off like a horse.”

“Who’d walk you?” Izzy asked, a light little taunt.

“Sanders, obviously.” He grinned, taking another drink. “So. As far as I understand, my job is to look pretty in a suit, right? Why am I having to go to….” He looked at the list she’d sent him. “Four different planning parties, plus two different rehearsals?” 

“To make sure none of you screw the pooch when the time comes,” Isobel said. 

Michael hummed, not even remotely bothered by Isobel’s overly controlling planning. Instead, pulling up Rosa’s Instagram, looking for one that looked like it might be Alex’s. Then Facebook. Nothing. Who the fuck wasn’t on social media these days?

But there was no way that look had aged well, right? He’d be safe, right? Aging emo band frontman was decidedly not his type. “Yeah, yeah. A million planning meetings just to make sure I’m facing the right way on a one-way stage. Dinner’s on Friday?” He asked, idly, reaching to grab another beer.

“Yes. But you’re getting drinks with us at the Pony tonight when Max gets off work, so pace yourself, brother. Maybe eat a sandwich?”

Michael made a noncommittal noise, googling Alex Manes in between long pulls from his beer. “Sure.” 

* * *

Perhaps unsurprisingly, googling “how to stop a wedding” didn’t really help Alex come up with any workable ideas. And as fun as blowing their venue up would be, he didn’t actually think “at all costs” included destruction of property and murder. Plus explosives were either expensive or took time.

He pulled up a word document and started to type up any ideas that came to mind. 

_Wedding sabotage ideas:_

  * _Photoshop pics of Rosa with someone else_


  * Destroy decorations


  * Kidnap flower girl?? (who is flower girl?)


  * Virtually ruin Isobel’s credit


  * Replace the priest with an actor


  * Delete marriage license in system


  * Talk to Isobel and try to convince her Rosa’s a bad choice


  * Lock the brides in their rooms


  * Steal the the wedding dress (note: do not destroy)


  * Release a pack of raccoons into the chapel 


  * Laxatives in the bride’s mimosas 


  * Steal the rings



Alex deleted a few of them out seconds after he typed them. As much as Rosa liked to pretend that this was some great test of their relationship, Alex was sure that if he actually succeeded in ruining her wedding, she’d be... unhappy. Mostly, he had to pick things that would make for a funny story, he assumed. And keep Isobel Evans from skinning him alive. 

Well he could make Isobel shriek at least once maybe? Rosa would probably like that a lot. 

And, on the bright side, maybe this plan would help him avoid Michael Guerin. One would think he’d be over it. Ten years and two tours later. But fuck, there were still moments, thinking back on that night, that he wished the Earth had opened up and swallowed him whole. 

Why on Earth would he assume that anyone else in this bullshit town….

Alex forcibly stopped that train of thought. It stupid and unnecessary. He’d taken his shot and had missed. That’s all.  
  
You put yourself out there. You make a fool of yourself sometimes. But at least you tried. Besides, he’d been able to spend the last decade learning how to be comfortable with himself. It didn’t hurt that his father had been taken out by an attack in Libya. It wasn’t like Alex was celebrating his father’s death, but he had to admit that he and all of his brothers had unclenched the moment they heard that Jesse Manes had taken his last breath. Good fucking riddance.

Anyway, he shifted his attention back to his laptop, pulling up the schedule Isobel had sent him. Unofficial though his involvement in the bridal party was supposed to be, Rosa still wanted him at all the events (probably so he had a better opportunity to ruin things). There was going to be a dinner Friday. He could do some recon, maybe get a few ideas.

He pushed away from the cramped motel desk, drumming fingers on his thigh. Maybe he should talk to Maria. Get some background. Definitely not wardrobe advice.

* * *

The Pony was exactly the same as it had been since Alex was a kid and he, Maria, and the Ortecho sisters had been stealing cheap beer to go drink out in the desert together. There was something comforting about it.

Even through the crowd, he could hear Maria’s excited shout and the clatter of a tray being put hastily down, even before he saw her. “Alex!” That was about all the warning he got before Maria slammed into him, hugging him tightly. 

Alex hugged her back, just as tight. Sure, they kept in touch over the years, but it had been way too long since he’d been able to do this. He’d made some good friends in the air force. But none of them were Maria Deluca. None of them gave hugs like she did. 

Eventually, Maria pulled away though, going to grab the tray she’d set down earlier, and heading back to the bar. “Tequila or beer?” 

“Beer.” Alex said, quickly. He was under no illusions that he could hold his liquor better than Maria DeLuca. Besides, hangovers weren’t the best for intelligence gathering.

“Forced you to arrive too damn early too huh?” Maria asked, after grabbing him a beer and getting him settled at the bar.

“Mmhm.” Alex nodded, picking up his beer and shrugging. “Rosa insisted.”

“Of course she did.” Maria smiled, nudging him a little. “Part of the wedding party?” She narrowed her eyes, and he frowned at her. 

Alex hesitated. “Something like that?” 

“She told me she was only allowed two!” Maria growled. He’s heard this before. Maria had wanted to be a bridesmaid and she was angry that Regina George couldn’t even muster up another person to even the number. “Oh I’m going to murder her…”

“Easy.” Alex laughed, raising his hands up in a placating gesture. “I think she’s planning to put me on seating. She also mentioned manning the guestbook? Rosa’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel if she has to call me in.” 

Mollified, Maria shook her head. “Don’t sell yourself short, Alex. You got the whole marching to a beat thing down and you’ll fill out a suit nicely, and that’s really all you need to do. That and maybe go home with someone equally handsome?” She winked at him. 

“I’m not actually marching down the aisle.” Alex protested… and froze as he felt a hand settle on his back. 

“Seems to be my lucky night…” A voice in his ear, unfamiliar. Alex tensed, kept himself in check. About to respond, when Maria did.

“Hey.” Maria snapped at the guy currently sidling up to Alex at the bar. “Nuh-uh. Take it elsewhere.” 

Alex raised an eyebrow at her. Was she defending his honor?

The guy sputtered. “Hey, I’m just talking, Maria…” 

“Trust me, Jeremy. Alex Manes here might look like a twink, but he’s not a twink. Elsewhere.” 

Jeremy did not seem particularly happy about it, but he did slink off. Few people were as intimidating as Maria was behind her own bar.

“I could have handled that.” Alex grumbled in his beer as the guy backed away, annoyed but not enough to make it a big deal. 

“Your version of handling things is an elbow to the nose,” she pointed out, and Alex had to admit that she was right.

“Fair enough. I guess I don’t need to get bounced out of my best friend’s bar tonight.” 

“Definitely not. Regina George will never forgive you if you show up to her wedding planning with your pretty face all bruised.”

“Can’t believe you’re still calling her that,” Alex said, amused. It didn’t have the bite it used to though, which was interesting... 

“Hm. Force of habit. And speaking of the devil…” She nodded over at the door, where Rosa and Izzy were coming in. Rosa clearly dragging her fiance behind her. 

“... I give it a year.” Maria said, dryly.

Alex could have kissed her. Of course. Leave it to Maria to come up with a perfect idea, right off the bat. He laughed. “Hundred bucks says six months.” He winked at her. 

Maria looked surprised for a moment. Surprise he would even consider such a bet let alone offer it, but then she grinned. This was too good to pass up. “Confident, Manes.” 

“Could get more people in on this. Make it more interesting.” He said, as casually as he possibly could. 

Maria laughed. “Well. We’ll have a lot of takers. Neither of them are _terribly_ popular.” 

Alex bristled a bit at the reminder of the shit this town has always thrown at the Ortechos. Making a face. “Well. People are assholes. But if we can part them from their money…”

“Way ahead of you.” Maria said, lightly.

“Still don’t even understand how that happened,” Alex said. “Feels like one minute she’s single and the next she’s dating Isobel Evans. I mean I know they were both unwittingly dating that asshole and then they kicked his ass when they found out -- but how did that become this weird love connection?”

“They just kept running into each other,” Maria said. “And at some point they got to talking and Isobel asked her out. And that’s all she wrote.” 

“Really did not expect Isobel Evans to be her type.” 

“They… make a weird amount of sense,” Maria admitted, grudgingly.

“They must. Every time I’ve talked to Rosa about her, she seems happy.”

“Izzy gets her. And she pushes her,” Maria said. “And vice versa. Look I’m not Isobel’s biggest fan by far,--”

Alex snorted. That was the understatement of the century. 

“--but she’s way less annoying now that she’s with Rosa.” Maria poured them both a shot and pushed one towards Alex. He sighed and took it with her. But this was the only one. “I try not to think about it too much. That’s what tequila is for,” she said, picking up the bottle and shaking it at him lightly. Ready to pour another shot. 

“I’m not falling for that trick, Maria,” He shook his head. “But I will take another beer,” he said, thoughtfully, recognizing a face in the crowd. “...Hey, is Lindsay still the town uh…” He trailed off, awkwardly. Not trying to slut shame, but he was getting another idea. 

“Bicycle?” Maria said, poison-sweet. Still no love lost there. 

Well, that answered that. Alex laughed. He held onto his plan, until Maria was busy with a group of customers and he went out over to Lindsay, to have a word.

Maybe he wasn't going to be terrible at this job. 

* * *

Michael had been to a lot of bars in his life but he loved The Wild Pony. It felt like _his_ bar. Like Cheers. Like he could walk in and everyone would know his name. It was just the right amount of noisy. The right amount of small town. Nothing hipster about the lights or the decor or the people drunkenly line dancing in the corner. 

What Michael did not like -- or frankly, understand -- was Lindsay leaning a little too closely to Isobel, brushing her hand down Isobel’s arm, leaning in a little too close. Isobel was still too confused to be angry about it and Rosa looked like she was going to start cracking jokes, which Isobel was definitely not going to like.

Lindsay had to be wasted. Michael hadn’t even gotten time to get himself a beer and now he had to run interference. Izzy was definitely going to be buying tonight. 

He took a breath, and then stepped in, resting his hand on the small of Lindsay’s back. “Long time no see,” he murmured in her ear. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.” 

And Lindsay turned, or more like fell, towards him. Yup, definitely drunk. “Michael Guerin!” She said. “Haven’t seen you in a minute! Ain’t you just grown up so handsome.” Her attention was entirely on him now which, he supposed was fine. He hadn’t been planning on getting laid tonight but he wasn’t going to say no if that’s where this was going. 

Michael steadied her, hands on her elbows. “Yeah? You grew up too. Buy you a water?” 

“Make it a cocktail and you’re on,” She tilted her head back, laughing, smacking his chest. She very nearly fell back, and Michael had to wrap his arm around her to keep her from losing her feet. On second thought, definitely _not_ getting laid tonight. Time to try and sober her up or get her in a cab. Or both. 

“Okay, come on,” He said, wrapping his arm around her, looking up at his sister, who was staring at them both, bemused and a lot relieved.

Michael mouthed ‘what the fuck?’ at her, but pulled Lindsay over to the bar. “Can I get a beer and one of your finest mocktails?” He asked Maria, when she looked at him, expectantly.

Maria rolled her eyes, “happens all the time. Coming right up.”

“Hey, put it on my sister’s tab?” Michael called out, rubbing Lindsay’s back and trying to ignore her clumsily wandering hands.

“With pleasure,” Maria nodded. 

“I can pay!” Lindsay protested, digging her hand in a pocket, “I got money…” 

Maria frowned, handing Michael the beer. “You don’t usually carry cash.”

“Got it from your friend.” Lindsay explained, pushing a crumpled hundred dollar bill over the counter. 

“Friend?”

Lindsay waved her arm towards the other end of the bar. “The one you were talking to. ‘lex.” 

Michael looked so quickly that he was honestly a little surprised he didn’t get whiplash. “Alex Manes?” He asked, searching the crowd for him. No sign of him. 

Maria however was snorting. “Sure, Lindsay.” Clearly she didn’t believe it at all and maybe she was right not to. There was no sign of spiked hair and too many piercings. No sign of that ass. ( _Down boy_ , he reminded himself. _Ten years later, that ass can’t possibly be as good as it was_.) 

Michael reached to pat her back, grabbing her money and slipping it back into her purse while she wasn’t looking before passing the mocktail over to Lindsay.

Still, he kept looking for Alex. And he couldn’t help but wonder -- if Alex _did_ give Lindsay that money, why?


End file.
